Mexicanmobile '06!

Well, it's the moment we've all been waiting for: will Gabe get the very nice, sensual 2000 chrystler sebring, or the busted up, pathetic exuse for an automobile the 1994 Chevy Astro with TV, bed, cooler, tape deck and even FM/AM stereo.

The moment of truth came tonight, June 1st 2006 over a fish and rice dinner at precisely 8:06pm. Gabe will be driving, the very sensual, practically orgasmic 1994 CHEVY ASTRO!!!!

Now for the explination and justification of this horrific tale.

When i was but a lad, my father came to the realization that his new found family of four could no longer be accommodated in his beloved brown buick any longer. So back in the glory days before the windstar and sienna, there was the GMC TRANS SPORT or a statiton wagon. My father was, or is (this issue is debatable), a man of keen intelect and he knew that he would be ridiculed if he, a 250 lb. mustachioed cuban man was caught driving a station wagon so he formulated a solution to all of this: Pimp out a CHEVY ASTRO used mostly for moving lumber and supplies by plumbers, electricians and general contractors with a TV cooler and all the trimmins'. The product of this experiment was this monstosity that i now find myself driving. When i was tiny and slightly more naive, i believed this van to be the van to end all vans, the coolest car in the world (i mean let's face it, this van has fuckin' blinds on the windows, that's friggin' awesome you must admit). So every time we got in the van, i'd tell my dad "dad when you die, can i have the van?" and now it looks as though that dream has come true.

There are some inheirant benefits to driving the Man-Van, however. First of all, i in all my 17 years of life have never ever never seen a van that even looks like my van, save pictures on the internet. Everywhere i go, people will know that Gabe is there, my personal trademark. Secondly, my van, taking into account it's size, density weight ratio and 4th dimensional geometry can fit a virtually unlimited number of people inside. I have derived an equation to describe the number of people able to fit inside based on atmospheric conditions, supplies already present in the vehicle and willingness of others to have their faces in places where faces should normally not go. The limit of this equation is somewhere in the neighborhood of 1e29 people. And lastly the back of my van turns into a bed, i mean come on, that's just so cool on so many different levels. So in conclusion, the benefits of driving this mammoth machine seem to cancel out with the drawbacks.

But i suppose it's better than those people who have no car, or even worse, cars that LEAK, SQUEAK and or trail wires underneath that shouldn't be trailed.

The Ultimate randInt(-1e99,1e99)

Have you ever felt that deep incertainty?
That kind of incertainty that makes you feel the way you did when you got your reportcard in elementery school?
A fear so deep and so real that it doesn't seem so.
A panic that carries no reason, no logic, no sense.
A frustration so maddening you feel like slapping someone?
An anticipiation so intense, a relief so great you feel like embracing someone until infinity.

What if there was a way to get rid of all these things and make everything happy and wonderful, make everything in the world fun and fancy free? Well let me ask you this: Why would you want to? It's these things that are the very essence of life, the very fabric of our Universe, our reality. What good would life be without fear, panic, how interesting could life be without anger, without something to cry about, something to regret for the rest of your life.

Have you ever noticed that people who pretend that everything in their lives is perfect and put and air of happiness, superiority or holiness around them are quite often the most miserable of us all? Those that seek refuge in institutions without investing time, heart, soul seek refuge in something that isn't there.

Look, the point of this whole tirade is, life isn't black and white, life isn't even gray, it's a rainbow of fuckin' colors that you can't ever even hope to see the rest of you days upon this earth. The good wouldn't be as interesting without the bad and the horror, and the friendships we have couldn't possibly be as amazing as they are wihtout the hatred we share for others and life is too wonderful to be considered just a slew of randomly generated events that happen for no reason without regard to human kind. Life is so wonderful, so unpredictable that it is impossible to feel the way i do when i recieve the opportunity to observe life, during hapiness and turmoil, just the fact that we are able to experience those things brings me an ecstacy so incredible that no words exist to express the way i feel when i see life in action.

A Rertrospective Look

I am now officially 16.62 years of age and find myself lauging at people younger than me and then the thought hits me, was I THAT much of a dumbass?

Case in point, my girlfriend and myself, rather than watching that greatest of sporting events, the superbowl, decided to just go to Robbie's for a movie, that didn't really work out so well. We were supposed to watch "Waiting". We did not watch waiting, we just rented Dirty Love instead, but i digress. Upon arriving at robbie's house, there was one of his surferboy friends with the blonde hair and shorts, in the middle of februrary.

Now, apparantly, robbie had managed to find himself a "girlfriend", initially Danielle and I thought he was making it up, what girl could bring herself to date robbie rivera was beyond us, and his father apparantly. After we were conviced that he was telling the truth we looked at eachother strangely as if to say, fourteen, what a ridiculous thing to have a girlfriend at fourteen. So we in effect went to robbie's house on Superbowl Sunday just to meet this female that called herself robbie's girlfriend.

Before we met her, however, we tried to get some information about her from surferboy at robbie's house and here begins our retrospective look into the psyche of a fourteen year old. Danielle and myself ask surferboy just to describe robbie's new mistress. The first words out of this idiot's mouth:

"ummmm.... SHE'S GOT REALLY BIG BOOBS!!!"

I was just like, wtf you're an idiot. I thought robbie would have at least gotten mildly miffed hearing that some other guy's looking at his girl's boobs, but no! HE LAUGHS, WTF! I'd never say that about my friend's girl, I wouldn't even say something like that about my girlfriend, this girl had nothing on Danielle by the way, looked like she got hit in the face with a mallot in comparison so idk what this kid was talking about, but he's fourteen and maybe his idea of beauty isn't as refind as it has yet to become, so i can forgive it. But the next part is unforgivable, like Avada Kedavra unforgivable.

All three of them, Danielle and I were sort of ostrasized because we were the only people there with the cognative ability to follow the movie, started talking about some other girl that we'd never met. Apparantly this girl is surferboy's girlfriend. The conversation got to a point where they started to make fun of her, but here's the kicker. SURFERBOY STARTED IT! The conversation when like this

me: dude, isn't that you're girlfriend?
surferboy: yea, but she's such an idiot she's so white

Such a dumbass, what kid make fun of their girl? So here the question was raised between Danielle and myself: "Is everyone such a dumbass at 14, or was everyone born after 1990 born with a diminished capacity for logical thought?"

The answer remains to be solved yet, but one thing is clear, that kid's going to major in dumbassery

productiveness feels good

Those of you who know me might say that i am at times, lazy. However this is not the case, i am simply selectively active and as of late, i've been on somewhat of a "productive streak" if you will.

This all started last week on tuesday chemistry lab. Usually, i'll do the lab and wait till next day to get all the facts and figures from my various lab partners and what not. But this Tuesday, something came over me, i said to myself "Gabe, why don't you just copy down the data now and then you won't have to worry tomorrow". And so i did just that and that night, i went home and did the whole thing. Next morning comes and HELL YESSSSS, i was able to ride the bus and get through lunch without asking once to copy the lab, as a matter of fact, i was asked quite a few times for someone else to copy mine, and it felt phenomenal.

Now i was hooked on productiveness, wednesday, i did the physics homework in my home and thursday i did chemistry homework at my home, friday did physics work at home and today, i write this after completing another set of physics homework. But homework aside, i decided to put ever so little effort into my other subjects by paying mild attention in class and i must say, my grades have skyrocketted.

So here i am, and what is the only thing that my fantastical mind can think of is how this whole thing relates to Cross Country. See, during this season, i brought my time down from 21:39 to 19:33 after i realized that it really was all mental and once i put in the tiniest smigeon of effort, i would be better.

The point of this tirade is that, cross country f*cks you up deep deep down in that part of the mind that talks to you when you're all alone in bed.

The Snowball Escapades

holy crap, i almost died today, i kid you not, my life was almost actually ended today, while running track ironically enough. How you may ask, well this story is so fantastical, you can't make this up.

As you may know if you live in New Jersey, it snowed all last week and it was beautiful, no school on friday, but this has very little to do with my story, only the snow matters at this point. Dave Gaynor, fellow cross country afficionado, was running in front of me and the idea occurs to me, i think i shall throw snow at this child. SCOOP....BAM, ouch, that one hurt even me.

Dave: OW, SCREW YOU GABE, I'LL GET YOU
me: no you won't, ha ha ha-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I honestly did not think that he was going to do anything to actually retaliate, but i was just a little wrong. The workout continues much without incident, and then we started our cool down, my imminent doom only minutes away. Now, for some reason, he was running towards me, i don't know, but Dave Gaynor just pulls a piece of ice out of his pants and then i decide very quickly, "I do not want to get hit by ice, i shall dodge this ginourmous piece of ice".

I dodge, i see such a look on Dave's face like Adam Sandler in the Water Boy rigth before he tackles someone and i was perplexed, and then i understand. I heard a screech and a horn five and one quarter feet behind me and i realized i had just dodged Dave Gaynor right into the path of a moving vehicle, what the F****? Man, i was actually afeared for my life, it was by the mear grace of God that i did not die earlier today.

O well, just another chapter in the Fabulous Misadventures of Gabe Villegas.

A Glance Into the Mind of a Track Runner

You know, something came to my attention recently, something that i feel must be discussed because it questions all that we have learned about the human mind and phyce. Why do people who run cross country feel the inability to quit, even when they are not running cross country.

A rescent poll of fellow winter track runners, WINTER TRACK may i reiterate (very cold), revealed that only the ones who had not run cross country would be willing to quit the team, all those that had run cross country said that they were afraid to quit the team. Now, let us look at this situation a bit more closely. 87% of the people (boys only so far polled) say that they hate the sport of running with a passion, myself included, and yet feel the irrational, inexplicable inablity to stop running. Day after day, we board the shuttle over to the track. Why? Because for some strange reasion, our track happens to reside at the middle school, why would the highschool track field be at the high school, that would make too much sense.

We arrive at the track, we are given a 45 minute speech by head coach Campbell, and we begin our workout. For those of you not familiar with track and field, there are three divisions: Sprints, Distance, Lifting, the hardest being Distance, funnily enough, i run distance. Why haven't I been slapped yet? This question has puzzled cross country runners since the beginning of time. After every workout everyone in Distance division, this "Cross Country Cult" if you will, every single person begins their daily tirade about how distance sucks, should have stayed home. However, none of us seems to posses the god damn abiltiy to stop freaking running? AYY DIOS MIO, WHAT THE HELL!!!!!! I could go on forever, i just ponder, what went wrong with the people that run, this is most definately not normal. But something else is true:

through this expieriene, i have learned that human beings can learn to turn off feelings and emotions on command, because after a while, you just get anesthesized to the pain, but it's still there.

The point of this rant: Don't do track. It's too late for some of us, but you still may be able to save yourself

The First Day of Track

First day of winter track, ironically, it was 70 degrees out, go figure. Coach Campbell, aka coach overbite gave his traditional, "no hazing, be here everyday or i'll castrate you" speech, but this went really very uneventful, as did the practice.

The exciting part of my story is bus ride home, my first one. Usually i walk, but they finished the fense and i didn't feel like jumping it after running 4 miles with no break, so the bus it was. Apparantly, Old Bridge High School shares the bus with Carl Sandburg Middle School, the school in which my sister is currently in attendance. Now, the odds of meeting my sister on said bus are somewhere between being shot in my backyard by a squirell and having your heart removed without your knowledge in the middle of 42nd street, however, it happened.

me:What are you doing here?
sarah: What are you doing here?
me: going home
sarah: so am i
me: apparantly

Now, i realize that this is not as entertaining as you're hoping it to be, but this is not all of the story. I ask my sister for some gum, we're a good 6 seats apart mind you, so she asks this other jackass of an eighth grader to pass it back to me, that little kid took my gum, he took my freaking gum, my one little slice of heaven until i got home and drank a diet coke, he stole my heaven that little stupid idiotic unbelievably pathetic specimen of a human being stole my freaking gum.

me: That was my gum you dumb!

nothing...
"Oh my eh-god", i was so pissed, that was my sister's last piece of gum and that freaking idiot took it, he knew it was for me, DAMN, WHAT THE HELL! I died inside, i can't belive he stole my gum.

me: YO! THAT WAS MY !@# GUM!!
stupid dumb freaking eighth grader: So
me: GIVE IT!

stupid dumb freaking eighth grader: I'm already chewing it !@#$@
me: So (in a sarcastic voice)
stupid dumb freaking eighth grader: I'm not giving you my gum
me: MY GUM
stupid dumb freaking eighth grader: You're not getting it!
me: GIVE ME THE GUM

I was not going to chew the gum of course it was a point of freaking pride, i went over there and i squeezed the gum out of his mouth and threw it out the window. That'll show that stupid idiotic stupid dumb ignorant freaking pathetic example of a human being to steal my gum ever again

F****ing eigth graders