I'm dreamin' of a White Summer

Old men and bicylces do not mix.
I had the unfortunate expierience today of taking my bike on a recently completed bike trail by my house. The path was very shady and provided an excellent refuge from the 97 deg. weather. On my way down the trail, I was accosted by a man who could have passed for Santa Claus's twin, but the fact of the matter is that this man was quite obese, and riding a bicycle. Trying my very best to not laugh at the ridiculous man on a bicycle, I managed a salutation.

me: Hello
Santa: (All a-huffin' and a-puffin')UUUUGGGHHHHH
me: (stifling laughter) O yea?
Santa: RAAAACE, UUUUUGGGGHHH

Me, thinking that an old santa man on a bike couldn't outbike my youth or my Trek racing bike, agreed to the ridiculous race. me, "YOU'RE ON!!".

That Santa man took off with the speed, grace and majesty unlike any creature of this earth. As I approach the end of the trail, the santa is standing with one foot on the ground and the other on his pedal with a very self-indulgent smirk on his face as if to say, "You silly SOB, how dare you challenge THE CLAUSE. HAHAHAHAHA YOU SUCK!!!".

Needless to say, I was shocked, and I doubt that I will be recieving many gifts this Christmas.